Today  was an impossible feat; I was a sound man on a commercial shoot involving a toddler and a puppy.

Before I get into it, the story: A man sits on a park bench with a puppy and a toddler. An attractive woman walks over.

Oh my, Is this your puppy?

Why, yes it is.

And this is your kid? Are you his father?

Well, not really…

His uncle…?

Close…I rented him.

Rented him?

And sensing her negative reaction…

No, of course not! You can’t just rent a kid to pick up women!

The woman of course is weirded out and leaves, and the man tries to convince the toddler to take $20. The toddler ends up taking $100.

Happily I didn’t have to plan nor produce this short “film” but enjoyed watching the director and producer (also the mother of the toddler) cull the best acting performance from a 2 year-old who only wanted to run away across the park. It was cute during the first hour….3 hours went by…


Since I was the sound guy, I had a free pass to not get involved, but secretly decided that combining toddlers with pet animals was a no-no. The puppy was adorable and sensing an impending allergic reaction (I didn’t really, but that would really suck), didn’t pet the puppy (but wanted to take it home). For various shots crackers were used get Roark to approach the camera (Roark simply took the crackers and offered them to the puppy). All in all, a good day’s work in the sweltering sun, a happy client and $ in the pocket.

It all brings to mind how my own parents tried to whore me out to  commercials, with zero luck. My ADD was is full swing and taking orders from some strange man was well, strange. That was my first and last Coca-Cola commercial audition.